Another reason to be so giddy? I have been working on my bills and I think this is my "extra" paycheck, so I will be able to put a large chunk towards my small remaining credit card balance AND also buy a pair of boots that I've had my eye on... a woman has to have priorities, people! I have done pretty well on the bills since Dave and I split, I think. Given that my previous method of budgeting (before "the Daves" - Dave Ramsey, and my Dave) was at times fairly haphazard, this is a big change. It really was so nice to have him in charge of all of the finances, and I knew what my allotted money was for each paycheck, and also all the other budget categories if I needed to buy anything for the house, etc. I definitely was spoiled with that - I hate numbers. If it came as easily to me as grammar and spelling, I'd be home free. But numbers - what a struggle.
So I have to make SURE this is my extra check, and that I will be on track to pay bills timely if I shift things to the next paycheck... part of me really just wanted to email Dave and ASK him (because I know he could easily look and tell me - he was always so on top of everything, a spreadsheet for every frickin' thing) but I thought "No, I don't need to do that - I can figure it out myself!"... and I can.
I signed the papers for our divorce this week - we agreed on everything, and there is really only one item that we will have to jointly pay off. So we used the same attorney, and I went on Thursday to sign the papers. Dave will sign them when he is in next week, and then they'll be filed, and it will be a 30 day waiting period. It was a rough week, we had an email exchange on Monday that turned ugly on both sides, and I spent the better part of an hour crying in my office. But we did resolve it, and both of us apologized, and will move on. I don't think we will be friends in the near future, because there are still a lot of emotions - but I hope eventually we will be. I know we both care very much what happens to the other, and want each other to be happy.
We are meeting on Tuesday at the bank to separate accounts, and to take care of a couple of other financial things - it will be the second time I've seen him in two months, and the first time for any extended period of time. Part of me is worried about it - how I will feel, if I will cry, etc. But then I also know that this is what needs to happen, to move on. I made the comment to him this week that I've been trying so hard the last two months to convince myself that "I'm okay", but the thing I am starting to realize is that I'm not going to just be able to pick up and go on like I'm not changed by all of this, because I am. And I need to honor that, and just figure out how to be okay with NOT being okay for awhile.
So, moving on. And there has been lots to keep me busy - some work, some fun.
- Work - I'm still really liking my job after a year, and actually starting to feel like I KNOW what I'm doing. I just had a manager of one of my clinics take another job and leave, so I have been extra busy with her clinic. It is probably my most "high maintenance" clinic, so the docs there are emailing me often, with drama, issues, questions, etc. Has made for a FUN couple of weeks.
- The Lake - I've missed the lake! I still have the fortune on my fridge from a few weeks before Dave and I split up... "Boats and water are in your future" - yes, they are, that is one thing that I will have again, at some point, a boat. I headed down to spend the latter part of Labor Day weekend with friends Jana and Chris, on their boat... it was chilly that Sunday, but so nice to be out on the lake, with the brisk breeze, the sun and some good friends.
- Greater Ozarks Blues Fest last weekend - my cousin Krista came up from PB with her hubby, and they stayed with me Friday and Saturday night. Soooo much fun on Saturday, we went to the Japanese Festival at Nathanael Greene Park, and then came home to change clothes (it was warmer out than we had anticipated) and just sat on the back deck enjoying a beer and the fall breeze. Then we headed to the Blues fest about 2pm, enjoyed a beautiful day, even with some rain. Will have to post some pics of our day.
- My new camera - I bought a DSLR about three months ago, and I love it! Have taken a couple of classes at the store where I bought it, and getting ready to take a 8-week class at the community college.
- Jace - He's back in the swing of things for school, and playing fall ball... I wish he was more conscientious about checking and doing homework every night, but he does okay. I have to remember he is a 13-year-old boy, and some of this is just par for the course.
- New technology - I am now an iPhone user - bought a slider Blackberry about three months ago, and it performed horribly - slider screen broke, and just generally did not hold up well. I did love the touch screen, though, and after a brief , very unsatisfying stint with a former Blackberry model I threw in the towel and bought an iPhone 4. I have to say, I still hate typing on it after two weeks- I liked the tactile keys of the Blackberry... but I do love all of the apps, AND the best part? The music - it is ON MY PHONE. How nice is that.... for a music person like I am, to have it all on one device is fabulous. Wish I had done it sooner. Have been listening to Pandora on my iPhone all morning, as I sit here and work on the computer. Sweet! (Yes. I know I am full of ALL CAPS and "!" this morning, and it is annoying, but I'm just happy to be in that kind of mood!)
- Friends - Thank goodness for my friends. Gail, Laura, Jana, and some other old and new friends. One person from my office is also single, and she and I have enjoyed a couple of happy hours after work. Another friend of Laura's is also going through a divorce, similar situation to mine - he and his wife split up about a month after Dave and I, so it has been good to hang out with him over the past couple of weeks... someone experiencing some of the same feelings that I am, it is good to just be able to talk.